Beggin’, Pleadin’, and the Evolution of Longing in R&B
by Charity Graham
Real R&B lovers have been mourning the alleged death of the genre for years now. The soul-drenched harmonies of Brian McKnight, Jodeci, and Kut Klose no longer define the rhythm of today’s R&B. Believe me the genre is alive and well, but a true opinion on the state of it depends on who you ask. And if you ask me, R&B was great back then and it’s great now, just in a very different way.
I love R&B as much as the next girl, but I can agree that the genre looks different in 2025 than it did in, say, 1995. As R&B’s sound shape-shifted (hello, alt&B), the culture around it transformed just as dramatically. Let’s put it into perspective. In the 80s and 90s, there was no Instagram serving as a Rolodex of potential partners. You were essentially limited to the people you came across in person. Love felt less like fate and more like an algorithm. Personally, if I spent most of the time looking at a lot of the same people when I went out on the weekends, I wouldn’t mind doing a little extra to catch the attention of a new heartthrob on the block! And like Tyrese in ‘How You Gonna Act Like That” I might not’ve been too far from crashing out when things went awry.
Fast forward to 2025. At our fingertips, we can interact with just about anybody and summon new connections with a tap. Our access to each other is far beyond what people have had in the past and it makes us feel as though our options are limitless. So by that logic, why do the most for one person when you could swipe up on a story and pick up another? Yes, people still love and love deeply. But the larger snapshot of the culture is tuned in to instant gratification, even in the romance department.
I say all that to say, traditional yearning has taken the backburner. Instead of being unashamed to express your feelings for someone, we’d rather “match their energy” or “play our role”. Even side chick culture doesn’t sound too bad when put to music (especially when it sounds like SZA’s “The Weekend”.) Instrumentally, songs are more stripped these days, straying from the sound of a full band and instead leaning heavily into studio-mixed sounds. But again, this style brought us songs like Tonight by Summer Walker, a track you’ll never hear me complaining about. A tweet from @RNB_RADAR reads “Instead of trying to force this new generation to sound like ‘90s or early ‘00s R&B, just go listen to that era’s music.” But me personally? I’mma do both.
The important thing to note here is that R&B didn’t die, it shifted with the times. Even more importantly, beggin’ and pleadin’ is not dead. It inhales through Jazmine on “Hurt Me So Good” and exhales through Miguel on “Adorn”! Fret not, friends. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I’ve compiled a playlist for those who love hard, those who still write love letters, and those who love a good adlib as the song fades out. With music spanning from the 90s to 2024, Beggin’ & Pleadin’ Music is my annual contribution to the Real Lovers community.
Listen and let me know how you like it! Happy Valentine’s Day and love always.
